Friday, January 18, 2008

Out of the mouth of babes...

... humility thou shalt be taught. - the book of Life.


"I've had a lesson in humility today. Thanks Quentin. "

Well like any other writer out there, that line is just a cheap trick to catch your attention and Quentin probably won't be reading it for a long time cause the dude is just 7 years old and probably finds the wheel he's broken of a toy car more interesting than any blog.

Allow me to introduce you. Quentin is 6 going on 7, he's bloody hyperactive, got a sharp mind in that head, a will strong enough to bruise an elephant, enjoys drain hopping*, rubbing himself against a dirty wall because it gives his mom more clothes to wash and has enough strength to hang off my left arm for the better part of half an hour. (I've got the bruise to proof it.) and guess what, the dude reminds me of a younger myself.

Quentin always has questions to ask, new tricks to try and surprises to spring. Sometimes these go well, sometimes they don't. But the thing which is most endearing is that all of these spring from a sincere attempt to understand the big world around him. To him, there are things in our world which shouldn't be the way they are because they stand in the way of him having harmless fun. He doesn't quite comprehend fully yet the social norms which exist around him, this is what makes him question them. And also what makes working with him a tad nerve wrecking sometimes.

Dealing with Quentin at various times takes patience as deep as a 100 foot well, the understanding of a sage, a professional clown's sense of humor, and the firmness of a vice cop. Before the first time I worked with him, I had always thought that I had most of that stuff. Two hours later, any myths of having achieved those qualities were quite firmly dispelled.

Thanks Quentin for teaching me I still have quite some way to go. LoL, fatherhood scares the hell out of me.

p.s. this is a post backdated to june 07 which I never published.

Extreme Ways

lol, I'm not Bourne but this track says alot for me right now.

Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn’t know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I’d owned
I threw it out the windows, came along
Extreme ways I know move apart
The colors of my sea
Perfect color me

Extreme ways that that help me
Help me out at night
Extreme places I had gone
But never seen any light
Dirty basements, dirty noise
Dirty places coming through
Extreme worlds alone
Did you ever like it planned

I would stand in line for this
There’s always room in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Like it always does, always does

Extreme songs that told me
They helped me down every night
I didn’t have much to say
I didn’t get above the light
I closed my eyes and closed myself
And closed my world and never opened
Up to anything
That could get me along

I had to close down everything
I had to close down my mind
Too many things to cover me
Too much can make me blind
I’ve seen so much in so many places
So many heartaches, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn’t believe

I would stand in line for this
It’s always good in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Like it always does, always does

The Thought War

This is a declaration of war. A declaration of war on the boundaries of free think. For years now, I’ve been bound by the bonds of an archaic monolithic structure of thought. Shaped and built by the experiences of my predecessors. Contained within a container of my own experiences, associations and prejudices.

That structure of boundaries has a name. A name I have yet to define. This structure of boundaries is often in opposition to practical thought. Practical thought should be based on the current situation at hand and the future needs that the situation and objectives combine to generate.

The following is the first of a series in which I seek to define the thought war as it emerges.


Part I - An analysis of the system of decision making

While I remain within this boundary, there can be no justified criticism of another person’s perception or thoughts. For as long as I cannot define the problems with my own thought structure, how can I rely upon that same thought structure to generate the impulse, thoughts and reasons which are essential for dealing with an external thought structure?

However, just as no observer within a system can observe the entire system (due to the fact that by being within the system, his presence and actions of observation will generate change a change in the system at the instant that his action of observation takes place.), my mind cannot comprehend itself in totality. This is an important point, for if the mind cannot be comprehended in full, then the thought processes and the results of their interactions will remain uncertain to a degree. This has the trickle down effect that further actions without an awareness of their effects will further future observations. Observations which are incorrect will then give rise to an inaccurate situational picture. As such, even if the mechanism for interplay between factors within the situational picture are ideal, the resulting decision from the situational picture will fail to be ideal. More often than not however, the mechanisms for interplay themselves are evolutionary and influenced by the long term behavior of the system. Hence it is rare that these mechanisms are ideal to a totally new situation. This then introduces further bias into the systemic decision making.