angles of refraction

The Truth about Life and Earth Hour

2009-03-28T13:52:00.002+08:00

The simple truth about life is no pain, no gain.

If you really want to help the earth, earth doesn't need one hour. It doesn't need one day. It needs decades of sacrifice to undo the decades of damage we've already done to it.

So stop being a hypocrite. If you really want to help, learn to live without that air conditioner. Start walking to the shop instead of driving. Stop changing your handphone so often. Stop buying the latest gadgets just because you happen to have a passing fancy.

The ruination of this earth is grounded in one simple problem, human greed and a selfish desire for convenience at any cost. As long as we continue to buy voraciously the products of this system and demand an artificially sustained standard of living, we feed the materialistic system that devours the resources existing and damages the environment.

In the end, it's simple. Saving this earth is not going to be convenient. Are you willing to take the pain to get the gain of a clean future? That is a question that cannot be answered in one hour. Think about it.

Being on edge...

2009-03-26T20:18:00.002+08:00

Lack of sleep makes me edgy... gives me the feeling of a sharp blade being struck on a stone... or the need for a shot of raw burning tequila.

Addiction

2009-02-09T11:55:00.002+08:00

Hello, my name is Jon and I have a problem. I'm a Sarah Brightman addict. It all started 1 month ago, when I got a new pair of speakers.

2009-01-29T09:13:00.001+08:00

It wouldn't take a genius to realise that I have always thought and still do think that President Obama is overhyped. In recent days, it seems that I'm not alone in wondering what exactly he's bringing to the table. Following this is an excellent piece by Paul Krugman on the new President and the American economy. Taken from the New York Times, Jan 22nd 2009.

Stuck in the Muddle
Like anyone who pays attention to business and financial news, I am in a state of high economic anxiety. Like everyone of good will, I hoped that President Obama’s Inaugural Address would offer some reassurance, that it would suggest thatthe new administration has this thing covered.

But it was not to be. I ended Tuesday less confident about the direction of economic policy than I was in the morning.

Just to be clear, there wasn’t anything glaringly wrong with the address — although for those still hoping that Mr. Obama will lead the way to universal health care, it was disappointing that he spoke only of health care’s excessive cost, never once mentioning the plight of the uninsured and underinsured.

Also, one wishes that the speechwriters had come up with something more inspiring than a call for an “era of responsibility” — which, not to put too fine a point on it, was the same thing former President George W. Bush called for eight years ago.

But my real problem with the speech, on matters economic, was its conventionality. In response to an unprecedented economic crisis — or, more accurately, a crisis whose only real precedent is the Great Depression — Mr. Obama did what people in Washington do when they want to sound serious: he spoke, more or less in the abstract, of the need to make hard choices and stand up to special interests.

That’s not enough. In fact, it’s not even right.

Thus, in his speech Mr. Obama attributed the economic crisis in part to “our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age” — but I have no idea what he meant. This is, first and foremost, a crisis brought on by a runaway financial industry. And if we failed to rein in that industry, it wasn’t because Americans “collectively” refused to make hard choices; the American public had no idea what was going on, and the people who did know what was going on mostly thought deregulation was a great idea.

Or consider this statement from Mr. Obama: “Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed.”

The first part of this passage was almost surely intended as a paraphrase of words that John Maynard Keynes wrote as the world was plunging into the Great Depression — and it was a great relief, after decades of knee-jerk denunciations of government, to hear a new president giving a shout-out to Keynes. “The resources of nature and men’s devices,” Keynes wrote, “are just as fertile and productive as they were. The rate of our progress towards solving the material problems of life is not less rapid. We are as capable as before of affording for everyone a high standard of life. ... But today we have involved ourselves in a colossal muddle, having blundered in the control of a delicate machine, the working of which we do not understand.”

But something was lost in translation. Mr. Obama and Keynes both assert that we’re failing to make use of our economic capacity. But Keynes’s insight — that we’re in a “muddle” that needs to be fixed — somehow was replaced with standard we’re-all-at-fault, let’s-get-tough-on-ourselves boilerplate.

Remember, Herbert Hoover didn’t have a problem making unpleasant decisions: he had the courage and toughness to slash spending and raise taxes in the face of the Great Depression. Unfortunately, that just made things worse.

Still, a speech is just a speech. The members of Mr. Obama’s economic team certainly understand the extraordinary nature of the mess we’re in. So the tone of Tuesday’s address may signify nothing about the Obama administration’s future policy.

On the other hand, Mr. Obama is, as his predecessor put it, the decider. And he’s going to have to make some big decisions very soon. In particular, he’s going to have to decide how bold to be in his moves to sustain the financial system, where the outlook has deteriorated so drastically that a surprising number of economists, not all of them especially liberal, now argue that resolving the crisis will require the temporary nationalization of some major banks.

So is Mr. Obama ready for that? Or were the platitudes in his Inaugural Address a sign that he’ll wait for the conventional wisdom to catch up with events? If so, his administration will find itself dangerously behind the curve.

And that’s not a place that we want the new team to be. The economic crisis grows worse, and harder to resolve, with each passing week. If we don’t get drastic action soon, we may find ourselves stuck in the muddle for a very long time.

2009 and beyond...

2009-01-28T21:16:00.003+08:00

It's always audacious to try and predict the future, especially if you're not God.

Being me and sticking my head where it doesn't quite belong however, this is what I now (2009) think will happen in the next 10 years :

America will retain it's economic dominance. The American military will continue to be the most dominant military force in the world. America will stop "nation-building" in Afghanistan, reducing it's forces to merely what is necessary for maintaining a central Asian beachhead.
Rapid ageing in the "old Europe" states will constrain the ability of the EU to emerge as a capable counter force to American economic power. Anti-immigration sentiment will continue to be a factor limiting the influx of brain power needed to capitalise on the emerging world order. Traditional european acceptance of large government will result in legislative roadblocks which will limit the ability of sectors within the EU to innovate.
Multi-polar, supra-national organisations will continue to polarise. The nation state will continue to remain the ultimate political unit.
Economic unions will emerge, engines of growth will likely emerge from Central Asia and North America.
China will undergo a period of instability followed by a period of insularity with a moderate to rapid cooling of growth. Tensions between the coastal regions and the inland regions will become a threat to Chinese unity. China will not achieve a blue sea navy capable of significant force projection. The PLA will continue to be used primarily for internal pacification.
Russia will likely undergo another round of blood letting as it moves towards a sustainable economy. This evolution will continued to be paid for with petro dollars as the price of energy rebounds to it's actual cost and continues to climb. The Russian governement will succeed in establishling an adequate buffer zone around western Russia.
Japan will suffer a political implosion. In the background, the Japanese armed forces will slowly take on a more aggressive role in assuring Japanese interests on foreign shores. Japanese resistance to immigration will have a significant impact on the ability of indigenous Japanese firms to innovate. Japanese firms will continue to move beyond Japan's shores to create new centers of innovation and tap new talent.
India will succeed in consolidating it's economic position. Pakistan and the interwoven problem of Kashmir will continue, however, it's impact on actual Indian policy will continue to diminish. India will have a great need for infrastructure development creating an opportunity for international firms to increase involvement.
Global instability will continue with the number of low intensity conflicts staying relatively constant. No significant big power confrontations of a militaristic nature will emerge between the currently existing regional powers.

First Post of 2009

2009-01-23T19:53:00.004+08:00

It's human to realise inadequacy only when it's shoved in your face. Damn you, Edith Piaf. You just demand Aegos...

Poor T20s. Not yet a month old and your owner has already grown sharper ears.

Virginia Reel

2008-12-13T18:45:00.002+08:00

So anyway, my aunt calls me at 1pm on a saturday afternoon.

Aunt : "Jon, I need music for the Virginia Reel. I'm not very good at finding these kind of things on the Internet."

Me : "What's the name of the song that you want me to find?*"

Aunt : "It's just called the Virginia Reel la.. That's the name of the song."

* The virginia reel is a dance, not a song in itself.

How do you tell your aunt that people who upload stuff to the internet generally just don't listen to this kind of music?

Anyhow, the story has a happy ending... 2 hours of searching through porn and malware and goodness finally yielded... John Hartford - Old Virginia Reel. Bless his soul, whoever it was that uploaded it.

Google Intelligence

2008-11-30T20:32:00.002+08:00

You know how google like's to talk about it's targeted ads and such like?

Well, the thing is I've a deep interest in all things that go boom and bam, while I work at a networking consultancy. That means my inbox is often filled with military reviews and IT industry papers, especially datacenter stuff. This week, I happened to be working on data center cooling.

Google's targeted ad for me?

Military Air Conditioning

LOL :P

Echoes of Finality

2008-10-21T10:42:00.005+08:00

I never thought I would actually miss this place.. But there have been too many memories here. Some sad, most happy. So, last post from Malacca for the next three months. Adios.

The Collection

2008-10-18T13:05:00.005+08:00

Three and a half years, nary a conflict. Three and a half years of living together, eating together, and of course drinking together. Unified by the shared love of a good stiff drink on a balmy night.

Legendary days of 5 seconds without a stopper.

Not quite the Elysium Fields, but the closest you can get in those carefree days of uni-life. May those legendary days always remain in fond memory.

Ah well, dudes of 396b. This is to you.

Well and obviously it doesn't stop there. Another fond memory soon to come...

All hail my furry machas.

p.s. - sorry la dei, couldn't fit all the beers into this post.

Digital Signals Processing : T minus 1 hour 6 minutes

2008-10-16T07:51:00.001+08:00

Music playing : Time is Running Out - Muse (Absolution)
Current thoughts : How will the barbeque tonight be?

LOL.

don't worry, be happy

2008-10-13T18:46:00.001+08:00

Hey you, yep you there.

Don't worry.

Profound Thought Number 2

2008-10-13T18:43:00.001+08:00

Life is a series of coincidences I make the best I can of.

Profound Thought Number 1

2008-10-05T07:04:00.002+08:00

The problem with this bloody country
is a damn lack of humility.

go figure.

This is the love supreme

2008-09-27T10:44:00.002+08:00

sweetly subtle. deep yet mellow. powerful yet velvety smooth.
( kind of like good payasum )

acoustic energy - aego m

If it's worth loving, it's probably not cheap. 700 bucks of not cheap to be precise.
But what can I say, I'm in love.

Sandwiches and orange juice in the rain...

2008-09-24T22:43:00.007+08:00

The irreplaceable things in life are simple - like picnic breakfasts on a hill with dear friends.

Enocomicality ...

2008-09-17T22:27:00.004+08:00

eno - comical - n. colloq. a term used to refer to policies of the government that are totally indigestible to the people, yet so absurd as to be hilarious. Used with regard to Malaysian political party manifestos and government policies of an economic nature. [Origin - eno, brand name of commonly available indigestion medicine in Malaysia + comical. Wordplay on economical. ]

Why listen?

2008-09-01T01:38:00.002+08:00

because ...

just love the sentiment here.

comic excerpted from www.xkcd.com

2008-08-30T21:04:00.003+08:00

digi. i like.

feels like a new phase of life. the postpaid world. lol.

to a friend who knows me well....

2008-08-27T01:51:00.003+08:00

thanks a million cp! hugs! this really made me smile. now for that heineken bottle to get the look just right...

Porcine Bliss

2008-08-13T09:23:00.001+08:00

He might be ugly, but he sure as hell is happy.

A visual snippet of life

2008-08-13T08:48:00.003+08:00

Best way to start a morning. :)

LoL. No, the next pic isn't part of breakfast, just happened to see it and take a snap of it. A flower that looks like birds having a meeting. Pretty amazing.

Poke a bear,

2008-08-12T07:58:00.002+08:00

then smack it on the nose and you can't expect to get away with it.

Kosovo, high oil prices, reemergent nationalistic sentiment and the restoration of national pride.

The Russian medved has just roared.

Lesson of the story, don't mess with a bear unless you've got a really really big stick.

there are many fish in the sea,

2008-07-14T14:49:00.000+08:00

but few are worth fishing for.

(Little) Monsters

2008-06-23T21:50:00.004+08:00

Being unable to sleep till dawn is never a good thing. Last night therefore was not filled with good things. Anyhow, the insomnia meant i ended up watching the movie 28 Weeks Later at 4 in the morning.

About 30 minutes into the movie, I got this strong urge to take a gun and put two bullets in the young boy's head. By 90 minutes, if I had been in the movie, the kid would have been stone cold dead. Understandably, if I had been there, it would have been a very short movie. LoL.

Yep, I am reading too much into a movie. But I'm doing it because this happens to be a convenient vehicle to explore the idea of the responsibility of child offenders and whether and how they deserve to be punished.

These kids broke martial law knowing full well the dangers of leaving the safe zone and in essence were responsible for bringing back a virus known to be able to decimate the entire population. And yet, the whole premise of the movie was about protecting these kids and getting them away safely.

I just don't buy the argument that kids cannot be held responsible for any of their actions. In such a case where the effects included deaths and serious societal damage, and where the children could see full well the effects of their actions, there can be no excuse. They do not deserve to be protected completely from the consequences of their actions. Why is it so hard to admit that monsters can start young too?

Additional reading can be found in 28 Articles (David Kilcullen, 2006) accepted as a must read for active duty soldiers in the US Army. Written as an unofficial manual of the do's and dont's of being a soldier in an occupied zone, at one point it deals with the relationships formed within the community. The gist of one of the articles is not to trust the children. Why? The explanation of Article 19 "Engage the women, beware the children." explains, "Conversely, though, stop your people fraternizing with local children. Your troops are homesick; they want to drop their guard with the kids. But children are sharp-eyed, lacking in empathy, and willing to commit atrocities their elders would shrink from. The insurgents are watching: they will notice a growing friendship between one of your people and a local child, and either harm the child as punishment, or use them against you."

This isn't a statement based on obscure theories, but rather one based on observations culled in the first two bloody years of the Iraq war. The writer is one of the chief strategists on the personal staff of General Petraeus, the general responsible for the success of the complex task of stabilising post war Iraq.

The young boy in the movie was exactly like this, selfish and unthinking. And for this little runt, the soldier dude shot another soldier dude who was carrying out his orders necessary to control the epidemic. And the kid didn't even show an ounce of remorse or emotion.

People would argue that kids aren't able to understand the world around them fully or comprehend the weight of their actions. That, is irrefutable. But I argue that we should also take into account what they ARE able to understand and based on that kids deserve to hold some sort of responsibility. Kids know what death is, and they too are afraid of death. When someone dies, they know it's sad, and they know causing pain and sadness is wrong. They too have free will and they too can make choices. This is a reference to that internal compass that we know as the conscience the bases principles of which do not have to be taught. If we celebrate the fact there are many people out there who have had massively troubled childhoods and yet turned out right, we must also accept what it implies, that children/teenagers are able to take control of their lives and make decisions for the better. Conversely, they're also able to make decisions for the worse. Horrible crimes are not a one-off thing, they're a result of a series of bad decisions which ingrain and reinforce negative attitudes. At any of these points, the child/teenager can choose to listen to the conscience and yet they've failed to do so.

Therefore when the consequences of an action are of great detriment to the very society and the societal rules that protect them, it only makes sense that they carry the consequences as demanded by the weight of the detriment caused and what they are able to understand. This should be particularly applicable in cases where death and great detriment to sections of societies is involved, murder and intent to cause harm should certainly be examine in this light.

Don't get me wrong, I love kids. But just as any successful parent will be able to tell you, kids who are totally shielded from the effects of their actions will never be ready to enter society.

Society functions based on societal rules. When these are damaged to a huge degree, the damage must be corrected to the degree possible taking into account the individual causing the damage irrespective of age.

Kids are not totally helpless, neither should they hold no responsibility for their actions. We treat adult monsters as monsters. It's time we treat child monsters as little monsters.

Future Posts

2008-05-22T17:14:00.003+08:00

I know if I don't make these an obligation, I'll never get to writing them. So here goes the planned posts. Expect them in the next 3 months or so.

A solution for the Israeli Palestinian conflict geared towards the Israeli geopolitical reality.
Discussion of the rightness of using performance enhancing drugs. Is the eliminating of all congenital disadvantages and differences a suitable aim? What are the motivations behind these and how do they affect the argument?
The Dalai Lama and his relevance in the new realities of Tibet and China.
The next level of the Thought War.
Review of Counter Insurgency Warfare - Theory and Practice
A primer on the Right to Protect.

"Please Submit Your Urine Sample Here"

2008-05-22T16:15:00.006+08:00

Attached to the bottom of our official university exam slip is a little notice to present your student ID along with the exam slip. If this article in the BBC is anything to go by, it could soon read like this.

"b) Kindly present your Student ID and Fresh Urine Sample along with this Exam Slip. "

Apparently, there are drugs out there that can be used as a quick fix for poor memory and alertness and there are actually people out there using them. Scientifically, these drugs are also known as cognitive enhancers.

Do these constitute and unfair advantage? The dudes at the UK National Academy for academic sciences seem to think so. A scenario foreseen is one in which we will need regulations and testing to ban the use of these drugs amongst the 'normal' population to maintain fairness in examinations and testing.

One of the dudes, Sir Gabriel Horn likened the emergence and usage of these brain enhancing drugs to the usage of performance enhancing drugs in sports. He's probably right
on that. Fact is that anything that will give people an edge over their peers is going to be in high demand in this super competitive society.

So if after this article, there's a sharp leap in the official number of people classified with mental problems, we know why.

Oh and for those of you who are asking, where can I get this stuff or what is it called? Nope, I'm not telling you. Don't want you ending up as druggies. (Or rather, I'm not sharing the good stuff with you guys. :P ) A hint is the stuff they use to treat Alzheimer's and ADD.

Did You Know?

2008-04-30T17:29:00.003+08:00

i) The earth has two holes at the top and bottom.
ii) Viewed from on top in Google Earth, it looks like a giant eyeball.

lol. Apparently they clip the sat images at both poles. So all that's displayed there is a BIG black hole.

Behold the eye-ball.

Letting the Yes mean Yes and the No mean No

2008-04-28T19:41:00.000+08:00

There was a time when a man said yes, he meant yes. When a man said he would do something, he did it unless there were circumstances totally beyond his control. Those were times when honor actually meant something. Those are times that no longer exist.

I don't know about the rest of you. But a man who can stand by his honor is a man worth having as a friend. Friends are honest, and friends are not hypocritical.

Honestly I tell you, there is more to a man than success of the material type. There is also the trustworthiness of his word, the meaning of his name and the change that he brings to the world.

Facelift required!

2008-04-23T16:32:00.003+08:00

This blog needs a facelift and I'm too busy. LOL. Anyone want to offer their services?

Renumeration :

Lots of my love and care (preferably offered only to female applicants.)
Eternal gratitude
Dinner on me

Bid here... ;)

The Arrogance of the Educated

2008-04-23T10:18:00.001+08:00

Demos-kratos : People/Mob – Power/ Rule. Rule for the people, by the people.

[Too lazy to polish this post. What you see is the raw product of a session of the thought war. Logical links not included. Go figure.]

There is a basic problem with that phrase. It emphasizes the right of the people to choose their own path. It says nothing about the rightness or wrongness of the choice.

However, do people have the ability to make rational decisions? Yes, No? Irrational herd mentality. Emotions influence decisions. Pull the right heart strings and you get them on your side.

When it comes down to the question of who knows best how to rule or what is the best path forward, all that can be heard is the chorus of “Me! Me!”

It is one thing to say that the rural folk are unenlightened and uneducated, another to deprive them of their rights. Doing so would be the imposition of your opinion and believes upon them. In no way is that compatible with the spirit of democracy. Or do we believe in the idea that a selective democracy can exist? Do we have a right to choose who is the demos of this demos-kratos?

Fact is that the demands and concerns of the rural population differ from that of the urban. Who should determine the party that has the right to rule and who should determine by what measure this right is attained? We do have historical precedent, the Communist party within the Soviet Union and even now the Communist party in China. They believed that the power should be held by a few who were enlightened. The party knows best. This was and is the ultimate form of arrogance in government. In much the same way, we’ve the urban aristocracy. What about in Thailand? The removal of Thaksin was supported and engineered by the urban population without the support of the majority of the population that lives in rural areas.

Populist measures ? Have been in practice since the beginning of human government. Bread and Circuses, first popularized in Satire X of Juvenal. To give an acceptable veneer to the masses. By and large, we know that the vox populi is not always the best. The fact that most people agree to choose government over anarchy is that we realize that the vox populi is not always consistent and doesn’t always make the best decision. This is due to the fact that the populi has to feed themselves and get on with daily life. So we think it a safer bet that we’ve someone who can take care of our interests at the top. This returns to the original problem of a divided populi of which different sectors have different needs and wants in life.

A reminder, not all education is equal. The worse type of education is the type that makes you think you know everything (exactly what is taught in Malaysian Unis) . The best type is summed up by the phrase “The wisest person knows that he knows nothing.” In other words, an educated person is always open to new debate and synthesis of ideas. See two sides of the coin to everything.

Propose a solution to the problem.

How do we handle this? Education of the correct type, education which more important than imparting facts, imparts a thought process, that teaches to make the division between cause and effect, that encourages curiousity.

Education reform. Languages in which it is taught is not the ultimate barrier. The symbol is changeable, the intent is not. Misinterpretation is the danger to be guarded against.

Single unified language of education. Reduce chances for misinterpretation. Reduce differences between sections of society in communication. Different languages only serve to reinforce classes and restrict social mobility.
Revision to the history syllabus. No longer the dead subjects which serve no purpose but to glorify now insignificant actions but rather the intercourse between nations, the motivations for these actions and a discussion of the implications of history. It is not something which is static for the lessons that history teaches are many. Remember there is more to be learnt from our mistakes than our successes.
Teaching of economics. Economics examines the allocation of scarce resources among competing needs and wants. Defined too as study of the means by which society uses human and natural resources in the pursuit of human welfare. As such, economics extends beyond the boundaries of a single organisation and is inextricably linked to both the environmental and social elements of sustainable development.
Ethical training at secondary level. Exposure at an early age ensures the development of interest and also helps in the development of critical thought processes able to comprehend multiple factors and perform weighted selection.

How To : Go for an 8am class the morning after a bottle of premium baccardi a bottle of anejo tequila at 2am the night before

2008-03-28T19:03:00.001+08:00

*also for the same assignment

Throw in four guys with an 8am class. Ah! What would university life be without experience(s) like that?

Of course, some sensible souls out there are going to point out that a simple solution to the matter would be to abstain from the alcohol. Certainly, it will save you the feeling of your head thumping like it's about to explode, a stomach that will feels like a washing machine, and the awful feeling that you mopped the floor with your tongue. However, these people are unenlightened ones who do not realize that for some of us, excluding the alcohol is just not an option. To these sensible ones, please stop reading now, and go back to drinking your chocolate milk.

Thank you.

Welcome, true believers.

I, am here today in the spirit of the kudi brotherhood to show you the way to enlightenment. Learn well and I will teach you much. You will learn to turn the jackhammer thudding in your skulls to the sweet singing of birds of paradise, bring peace to the churning of your foaming bellies and the feeling of having mopped the toilet floor to the sweetness of a light champagne.

If you believed that, sorry dude, you got the wrong messiah, I'm no miracle worker.

Let's set a more realistic target eh. Say, surviving the experience and making it for that 8am class without collapsing on the way to class or puking in the lecture hall ( Not cool dude. Not cool. ). This is important to reduce the chances of you, the true believer, getting barred for less than 75% attendance. Of course, I would never recommend skipping classes just for alcohol. If you skip classes and graduate slower, you the true believer will start working later. This is a bad thing because without working and earning your own money, you will never be able to taste the true glories of the real liquors.

As we've been taught as good engineering students, we will first define the problem. Then we will explore the underlying factors and then propose the solution.

You may choose to understand this great work as a whole, or to do as most MMU students normally do, to memorize this formula for success and just regurgitate it. Unlike the EHM3066 mid term exam, memorizing this formula is highly likely to get you through to the class.

The wise sages of the ages have a name for these symptoms caused by ingestion of too much of a good thing. It is called "Veisalgia." Okay, obviously the dude who coined this term was himself drunk. To those of us who are sober at this point, we call it by a rather more pronounceable term, "the Hangover".

What is the Hangover?

In short it's your body screaming at you for poisoning it very very loudly. Alcohol is actually a fuel just like petrol. Burn petrol and you get by products such as CO2 and small icky black particles from the impurities in it. When you drink alcohol, your body burns it and produces a whole bunch of by products. Metabolized alcohol produces acetaldehyde, a nasty little poison that your body does not like. In addition, many alcohols have impurities called "congeners" which are also toxic. Alcohol itself also has a diuretic effect which means your body is going to be dehydrated. This is bad because there is even less fluid in your body to dilute the poison's effects. Along with all that water flowing out of your body will also be all those nice vitamins that are water soluble such as vitamin A, vitamin B and vitamin C. Alcohol in it's raw form is a depressant drug and when you have a hangover, it's actually like a drug overdose which makes the road to the CLC feel like the road to hell.

Dealing with the Hangover

We see now that there are 3 things to handle,

Get rid of all that acetaldehyde and congener by products
Replenish all the good stuff that your body needs, water and vitamins
Reduce the depressant effect on your brain

The bad news is, there is no way to directly stop the effects of the alcohol on your system until it has been excreted.

The following are some ways we can deal with these effects.

Choose your alcohol – Dark liquors contain higher amounts of congeners. This means more poison for your body to deal with. Vodka or gin have less of these.
Modulate alcohol intake – Drink alcohol yes, but drink water or juices too.
Bananas – Eat a few or put them in a banana milkshake with honey. Bananas are rich in electrolytes, magnesium, potassium and fructose all of which your body has lost. Additionally the bananas will sooth the stomach while the honey is also rich in sugars, especially fructose. Fructose here has the additional advantage of helping your body metabolize the alcohol faster thereby shortening your suffering.
Activated charcoal – This will help to absorb the toxic impurities in the alcohol which worsen the effects. Don't do this too often because activated charcoal absorbs just about everything including all the good stuff in your body.
Rehydrate – Drink lots of juice, slightly acidic juices work best. 100 Plus or other isotonic drinks work well too. Tomato juice is excellent so is orange or lemon. Again these contain fructose and other sugars along with replenishing bodily fluids.
Raw cabbage – Eat some raw cabbage leaves. This helps to relieve the headache.
Probiotic pills (good bacteria) – Helps your stomach to repopulate with good bacteria. Reduces the churning later on
Berocco tablets – A vitamin supplement that dissolves in water to release vitamin B. This is abit to hard to find in Malaysia, but you can substitute it with any vitamin B and C supplement.
A SINGE Bloody Mary – A little bit of alcohol to sooth the withdrawal symptoms along with tomato juice in it which does all the good stuff mentioned earlier. Don't go overboard with this treatment however, or you won't just not get better. You will get worse.

This then is the way to successfully make it to the 8am class. Drink up kudis! Of course don't forget to set your alarm clocks. LOL.

Malaysia, where to now?

2008-02-29T13:35:00.003+08:00

Note: This post was actually written for an assignment. We all had to come up with a bunch of blog posts and this was mine.

“To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward.”

Mark these words. The world is changing. For the first time in living memory, the Pax Americana hangs in the balance. For the first time in post world war history, a nation has emerged with the geographical depth, the social cohesion and the economic strength to challenge the established superpower of our time.* The Chinese dragon has twisted communism beyond recognition and implemented the semblance of a market economy. The Russian bear awakens. Islamic civilization is beginning to stir. At the same time, the world is waking up to a reality that our environment is damaged, that the mother earth can no longer take the damage we throw at her. International standards of conduct are now no longer held as sacrosanct. These are dangerous times.

Amidst all this chaos, a tiny country in South East Asia stands at a fork in the path. Malaysia too is a nation facing a troubled teenage hood. Too small and too few in number to tilt the global power balance, Malaysia is in most things a decision taker and not a decision maker. [ Lets talk geopolitical realities eh, not sentimental word pictures. ]

Where are we heading?

I find that a question hard to answer in concrete terms. I find it hard to answer it in any form, because honestly, I have no idea where this nation is heading too.

A general election looms on the horizon, this should be a time when people are all geared up to choose where the nation is going too in the next five years. Yet, tell me honestly, do you know where the government plans to take the country in five years? Do you know where the opposition plans to take the country in five years?

One thing which is so obviously missing from the campaigning is any sort of gameplan for the country. Campaigning in our country plays along racial lines, on racial issues, on short term effects. They tell us they’re going to make us rich and prosperous. But they never tell us how. I suspect part of the reason is that they’ve no idea how either. It just sounds really good.

A simple answer would be that our political leaders are bankrupt of ideas. Get over it already opposition. The reason why you’re not in power is not just because media coverage is unfair etc etc, but plainly because you don’t have the answers to the questions that face this nation. You can’t answer the simple question of where should Malaysia be heading. How can a thinking rational person support you based on the hope that because you’ve made so much noise about what you think is wrong, that you then deserve to rule the country? We know what’s wrong, what we need is solutions, not an echo in our ears.

As for the government. Yes, the ruling front has a great track record. Malaysia has prospered greatly since independence. There is a difference between then and now though. Our forefathers had vision. They knew what was needed to forge the way forward. There was a spirit burning that we were all brothers, that it didn’t matter so much that we came from different races, that we had different religions. Our forefathers were no idiots. They didn’t try to hide that there were racial differences or to gloss over them. But they knew that no matter whether one was indian or chinese or malay, our sweat and blood are the same colour. And when it got down to putting those drops of sweat and blood into forging a path forward for our country, the strength of that torrent was what mattered. The strength of that river of blood and sweat laid the foundation for the progress we have seen. Answer me honestly, does our current government dare admit that all sections of the population are equally deserving, and play important roles in the development of this country? Because as long as they fail to recognize this, there can be no step forward as a unified nation.

To demonstrate. Let’s take a basic question, where is our economy heading? In the brief years that I’ve been around, I’ve variously seen the government try to turn Malaysia into a

Knowledge Economy
Biotechnology Hub
Hub of Higher Learning
South-east Asian Financial Center

Last I heard, the bio technology city in Putrajaya is still a bunch of uninhabited buildings. As for our National Universities, they’ve almost fallen out of the Times Higher Education ratings. Our South-east Asian Financial Center plan doesn’t seem to have brought in large numbers of traders and our knowledge economy is still stuck in a rut because the kids who should be getting this knowledge can’t use the computer labs for fear it might collapse their heads.

You see, we need to stop talking about unity and racial harmony. Start walking it. Stop believing that you’ve a God given right to the land. No one does. A steward of the house has to take care of the house well or else the master of the house comes in and throws him to the darkness outside. Get that out of the way and perhaps we can then start pointing our country in the right direction. But that’s your choice.

There is no vision, there is no passion. We’re a nation without a soul. We choose to spend our time bickering amongst ourselves, we want to split ourselves by race and we all want to claim our own race as superior to all others. And we do all these, in that little country called Malaysia. We all want to be “jaguh” tapi, jaguh kampung lah tu. Kampung to keci lagi. And while we’re so preoccupied being first in our own kampung, we don’t realise that our kampung has been left years behind by the world.

A pity isn’t it?

Can you love a country, but hate the nation? I can.

Out of the mouth of babes...

2008-01-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

... humility thou shalt be taught. - the book of Life.

"I've had a lesson in humility today. Thanks Quentin. "

Well like any other writer out there, that line is just a cheap trick to catch your attention and Quentin probably won't be reading it for a long time cause the dude is just 7 years old and probably finds the wheel he's broken of a toy car more interesting than any blog.

Allow me to introduce you. Quentin is 6 going on 7, he's bloody hyperactive, got a sharp mind in that head, a will strong enough to bruise an elephant, enjoys drain hopping*, rubbing himself against a dirty wall because it gives his mom more clothes to wash and has enough strength to hang off my left arm for the better part of half an hour. (I've got the bruise to proof it.) and guess what, the dude reminds me of a younger myself.

Quentin always has questions to ask, new tricks to try and surprises to spring. Sometimes these go well, sometimes they don't. But the thing which is most endearing is that all of these spring from a sincere attempt to understand the big world around him. To him, there are things in our world which shouldn't be the way they are because they stand in the way of him having harmless fun. He doesn't quite comprehend fully yet the social norms which exist around him, this is what makes him question them. And also what makes working with him a tad nerve wrecking sometimes.

Dealing with Quentin at various times takes patience as deep as a 100 foot well, the understanding of a sage, a professional clown's sense of humor, and the firmness of a vice cop. Before the first time I worked with him, I had always thought that I had most of that stuff. Two hours later, any myths of having achieved those qualities were quite firmly dispelled.

Thanks Quentin for teaching me I still have quite some way to go. LoL, fatherhood scares the hell out of me.

p.s. this is a post backdated to june 07 which I never published.

Extreme Ways

2008-01-18T18:29:00.000+08:00

lol, I'm not Bourne but this track says alot for me right now.

Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn’t know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I’d owned
I threw it out the windows, came along
Extreme ways I know move apart
The colors of my sea
Perfect color me

Extreme ways that that help me
Help me out at night
Extreme places I had gone
But never seen any light
Dirty basements, dirty noise
Dirty places coming through
Extreme worlds alone
Did you ever like it planned

I would stand in line for this
There’s always room in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Like it always does, always does

Extreme songs that told me
They helped me down every night
I didn’t have much to say
I didn’t get above the light
I closed my eyes and closed myself
And closed my world and never opened
Up to anything
That could get me along

I had to close down everything
I had to close down my mind
Too many things to cover me
Too much can make me blind
I’ve seen so much in so many places
So many heartaches, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn’t believe

I would stand in line for this
It’s always good in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Like it always does, always does

The Thought War

2008-01-18T01:41:00.000+08:00

This is a declaration of war. A declaration of war on the boundaries of free think. For years now, I’ve been bound by the bonds of an archaic monolithic structure of thought. Shaped and built by the experiences of my predecessors. Contained within a container of my own experiences, associations and prejudices.

That structure of boundaries has a name. A name I have yet to define. This structure of boundaries is often in opposition to practical thought. Practical thought should be based on the current situation at hand and the future needs that the situation and objectives combine to generate.

The following is the first of a series in which I seek to define the thought war as it emerges.

Part I - An analysis of the system of decision making

While I remain within this boundary, there can be no justified criticism of another person’s perception or thoughts. For as long as I cannot define the problems with my own thought structure, how can I rely upon that same thought structure to generate the impulse, thoughts and reasons which are essential for dealing with an external thought structure?

However, just as no observer within a system can observe the entire system (due to the fact that by being within the system, his presence and actions of observation will generate change a change in the system at the instant that his action of observation takes place.), my mind cannot comprehend itself in totality. This is an important point, for if the mind cannot be comprehended in full, then the thought processes and the results of their interactions will remain uncertain to a degree. This has the trickle down effect that further actions without an awareness of their effects will further future observations. Observations which are incorrect will then give rise to an inaccurate situational picture. As such, even if the mechanism for interplay between factors within the situational picture are ideal, the resulting decision from the situational picture will fail to be ideal. More often than not however, the mechanisms for interplay themselves are evolutionary and influenced by the long term behavior of the system. Hence it is rare that these mechanisms are ideal to a totally new situation. This then introduces further bias into the systemic decision making.

Petrol for the Poor

2007-11-13T09:25:00.000+08:00

Several days ago, in the face of the rising price of fuel on the world market, the Malaysian government announced a proposal to introduce a two tiered petrol pricing system. This system would provide for discrimination on the basis of income level. I.e. cheaper petrol for the poor and the standard pricing for the rich.

Well, does this proposal make sense? In the face of the generally held perception among the middle class that this is another stupid attention grabbing initiative for the government, I beg to differ. This proposal can be made to work, and yes it does make social and economic sense to implement. Especially for the lower income section of the population this is one effort which could make a significant difference in their burden of existence.

Petrol remains the fuel for the majority of cars within Malaysia. Alternative fuel sources, e.g. NGV, hydrogen or electric either require a steep initial investment or remain in the domain of higher end and hence more expensive vehicles. This means that for the large majority of Malaysians, and especially so for the lower income segment, petrol is an essential item if they have to commute.

The Worries of the Poor

For the lower income segment, this problem is further compounded by the fact that by virtue of being poor, they tend to live in low cost housing. Housing cost is very much so location dependent. Low cost housing therefore implies a more considerable distance to amenities and also to social centers where work can often be found. Hence, poor people, because they can't pay for housing closer to commercial or service centers where their jobs are located thereby have to commute further to their place of employment. In addition to that the distance to social amenities essential in city life such as their children's schools is also increased. What all this adds up too is an increased burden in terms of fuel cost just to survive.

On a second level, if we were to represent the nett income of a family to a pie, richer families naturally have a larger pie to start with. Now assuming in an ideal case scenario that a rich and a poor family have exactly the same commuting needs and use exactly the same vehicle (mind you that is not the case as proved earlier. note too that we're talking about needs essential for maintaining a family.) Their petrol cost will be exactly the same i.e. it will take a chunk out of each pie that is exactly the same. However, the effect on both families will still be significantly different. This is because the rich family starts out with a bigger pie already i.e. has more monetary resources available. Hence if you take a same sized piece out from each pie, the smaller pie will logically lose more of it's total pie value. [For those who don't understand the pie illustration, if the rich person has RM1000 of income per month, and the poor has RM250, but the both have to pay RM50 for petrol, that means 20% of the poor person's income but only 5% of the rich person's income. ]

Now, bringing this back to the real world, those of you who have studied economics will understand that needs taper off at a certain level. Within the Malaysian context, for a rich or middle income family then, the rest of the income above the needs level is essentially disposable income. For a low income family however, the needs level is often almost parallel with their nett income on a monthly basis. Increasing the price of an essential item such as fuel will have different effects on the spending habits of low income families vs those of higher income levels. This is because if they need to spend more on fuel, for a high income family, this would mean a little less disposable income i.e. less movie trips, less overseas holidays, but for a low income family, this means less income available to meet their needs i.e. less money for medicine, food, even utilities. Henceforth, an increase in price level of fuel which is an essential will result in a significant degradation of quality of life for the poor.

The Solution

Which brings us to the question, is there a way where this can be implemented? I believe yes, an over-the-dinner-table talk with my dad yielded this result.

Essential to the functioning of any such plan would be a mechanism that would be able to fit these requirements as listed below. Roughly,

i) method of determining income
ii) method of linking income level to mechanism for dispensing of subsidy
iii) mechanism for dispensing subsidy which is least prone to abuse

The mechanism works like this. Using the RTD as the department for the dispensation of subsidies. And proof of income level can be income declaration statements available from the Inland Revenue Board. The mechanism of providing the subsidy will be a debit card only useable for fuel at petrol stations.

Why the RTD and why a debit card?

One of the main problems that would face the government would be how to allocate the subsidy to those who actually need it and would use it rather than reselling it to the rich. The RTD is the one institution in the country that would know what type of vehicle a registrant is using and how many vehicles the registrant has. Hence, a low income candidate would only be given the subsidy if they come to the counter with their income declaration statement, and the RTD would only give out the subsidy if it can be proven that they own a vehicle. Different levels of subsidy for motorbikes and cars would be provided. Perhaps RM100 per month for a car and RM 20 a month for motorbikes. The debit card would be recharged when the candidate comes to renew the registration of their vehicles (a yearly affair for most people.) This essentially puts into place a check and balance at a reasonable time period. The level of subsidy would be fixed for each family, i.e. RM100 a month no matter how many cars (which should be only 1 for low income families) you might happen to own.

Making a difference

Modern society prides itself on it's morality, on it's civility towards it's citizens. Every human deserves the basic right of a reasonable quality of life. With this proposal, we've have a chance to improve the quality of life of the most oppressed segment of our fellow citizens. Don't ignore that chance. Put yourself in the shoes of the office clerk whose only thought everyday is how to feed her 3 children at home. Put yourself in the shoes of the factory worker whose heart aches desperately because he knows he will not be able to pay his child's school fees. Put yourself in the shoes of the pensioner who has served his nation for 30 years but cannot now afford to visit a doctor. Don't they deserve something better?

Scent of a Woman

2007-10-23T01:59:00.000+08:00

Dude, watching this, I now want to learn to dance the tango before I die. :) and I know exactly which girl I want to dance the tango with.

Movie tells the story of an unlikely friendship formed over a weekend in New York between a blind lieutenant colonel and a boy who takes up the weekend job of being his caretaker. It's as much a touching coming of age story as it is a masterful character study of a blind retired man frustrated with the world around him. You'd never think that Al-Pacino wasn't blind.

Hooo-ah.

Awesome movie, awesome story telling, wonderful performances. Watch it.

p.s. Watch out for the wonderful tango scene.

Much ado about funerals

2007-10-23T01:14:00.000+08:00

Funerals fascinate me. Other people's or mine. Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy funerals, but I certainly do think that they deserve abit more thought than most people would give them. And if I'm going to be going and pondering the day another poor dude is gonna die and his family mourn him, it wouldn't at all be fair if I didn't ponder my own first.

Well, for starters, I'd like lots of laughter, lots of beer, lots of good food and just a few tears for mine. Let's do away with the staid old sad coffin, bring in something light in colour, not so imposing, something rather more appealing. And definitely try and get rid of that funny smell of chemicals preserving my body. Mm, and my mortician better be able to make me smile in death. Cause I'm bad enough at smiling alive, it'd be just a small favour to me and keep smiling for posterity. Keep it short, simple, and when it's done, just chuck me in the grave, and you can take the coffin away.

Before you say that's just weird and sad consider this, the whole point of the exercise is precisely that it's not supposed to be sad. Yeah true, I'll be dead and all. But imperfect humans as we are, certainly I'd have vexed the hell out of a whole bunch of you guys attending my funeral and it just strikes me as inconsiderate that when I'm dead, people are going to have to get sad and vexed again. If one has already done his share of damage when he's alive, the least you could do when you kick the barrel and take your rest is give them all a rest as well.

The way I see it, life is something wonderful. You can only truly celebrate something wonderful when it's ended cause only then do you know really how wonderful it all was. We're all here to make a contribution to this world. For now at least, our contributions are limited to the 70 or 80 years we've to live. And if you've lived your life well, had a good family, had good friends, worked hard, believed in god, believed in your life, helped people, enjoyed most of those 28000 sunrises and sunsets, well, why be sad about that? If I'm happy with the life I've lived, then it's pretty pointless that everyone then be sad about what I'd have been happy with. And just like the culmination of a successful project where you can clearly see the results, I want my funeral to be that big bash where the biggest project I'd ever have undertaken be celebrated. With laughter, with joy, with a tinge of sadness, but most of all, with memories to be taken away and treasured safely.

Miss me yes, but laugh with me, at me, and most of all, think well of me. Drink up me hearties at my funeral. ;)

How would you like your funeral?

What cannot kill me will make me study like a dog next semester...

2007-10-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

I get knocked down
But I get up again
Youre never going to
Keep me down

Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away

He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that
Remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that
Remind him
Of the better times

- tubthumping by chubawamba

I need to pay more attention to my studies... ;)

The power of wit...

2007-08-27T15:49:00.000+08:00

Reading an article about the Vatican setting up a religious airline, this line just took the cake...

"Ryanair already performs miracles that even the Pope's boss can't rival, by delivering pilgrims to Santiago de Compostela for a heavenly price," - Ryanair spokesperson on competition posed by Vatican airline

Whoever is in Ryanair's PR department certainly has HELL of a lot of wit.

Article found here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6958921.stm

Bridge to Terabithia

2007-06-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

5 stars and entrance to my list of all time favourite movies.

That's how I rate this movie. I loved it, no kidding. True it's a disney movie, and yes, it's based around a fantasy world. But deep down, this movie had heart, a heart unlike any other.

Be forewarned though, while this movie is about kids it is in very few ways a kids movie. By dealing with the theme of loss in a manner that dignifies it, this movie gains it's strongest points and teaches a great lesson. Life is dealt with in equal amounts cruelty and beauty. This is a movie that needs an open mind and heart to be truly appreciated.

Watch it.

Eureka...

2007-06-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

Eureka! for me that is. Asking myself honestly why I don't take my writing more seriously and put a little more discipline into it, quite probably, I just don't care. That and perhaps the ability to write in such a way so as to shape opinions and beliefs just isn't in me.

Don't get me wrong, words do carry great power. The written word can convey more than perhaps any other medium over the longest time period available. Definitely a significant part of my thoughts, opinions, knowledge and wisdom were shaped by the written word. Good writers like Orwell, Marx, Swift, Asimov and Sagan have always moved and impressed me.

But keeping in mind that every action should have a reason and that the time every man is given is finite, perhaps instead of forcing the pen to paper so to speak [or rather in this case, reluctant fingers to the keyboard.] I'd have to admit that my reason for writing can certainly not be very good if my writing ain't. Or if I don't really give a s***e about what I'm writing, even though I might know it well, then there's little point to it.

So much for wanting to be a writer. Call me a wuss for running away and not being disciplined enough to push my digits but I'd rather be willing to admit my limitations. Cheerios

I have... a problem

2007-06-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

Like the title reads, I have a problem. I can't seem to bloody put what I am thinking down on paper these days. A set of brilliant ideas or some good analysis might be floating around in my head, and then when I actually sit down to put it into writing, wallah! It's all gone.

Probably the reason is that I've been so lazy to put my thoughts down into writing in the past, now when I actually want to do it, the ability has atrophied! Or maybe I just need some pressure to do it, cause the Technical Communications paper certainly wasn't a problem. Anyway, here's to my new found inability to write, and to getting the drive back to rehabilitate this atrophied limb of mine.

the Weird tag...

2007-03-07T17:28:00.000+08:00

Darn I've been tagged... Since I've also been labelled weird for ALL of sue's blogreaders to see, I shall respond, and prove her right ;)

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.

the Weird stuff

1. When I'm sick, I exercise. I'll jog, lift weights, do situps, cycle myself to exhaustion. Takes my mind of being sick and suprisingly helps me to heal within a day or two.

2. I think Im a closet adrenaline junkie. I love risk, more accurately, I love the feeling I get when I'm so close to the edge, my hands get clammy and the heart siezes, there's no time to think, and then the rush after that when you successfully pull back, and the rush comes. Applies in hell of alot of ways. Whether I'm biking, balancing on a beam, or making a large decision or dealing with a tough person.

3. I'd rather read a geopolitical brief than spend time on mindless chatter about the latest celebrity star, what they wore, who they're doing it with, or how beautiful they are.

4. I think that fast cars are toys. You want real beauty and power, stop talking about Subaru Imprezzas or McLaren F1's. Think Nimitz Class aircraft carrier or Typhoon ballistic missile submarine. The power to wipe 120 cities clean off the map in my opinion definitely beats being able to reach 300KmH 0.1 seconds faster than the next car. [I do however love the Elise - minimalist, agile, fast. Ssswwweeet.]

5. I love bathing in icy cold water early in the morning. Did that in NZ. Loved it. If I could, I'd take part in the crazy once a year jump into the alaskan sea stunt. Though I'll probably die of hypothermia after that, at least I'll die happy.

6. When I go to public places, the most interesting displays are the people walking around. Society is the most interesting creature.

Yeah, I'm weird. I kinda like it. Deal with it.

Tagged : Mel, May, Siew. too lazy to think of others.

The abyss of liberty

2007-01-07T13:36:00.000+08:00

Post Disclaimer :- Ramblings Ahead. Reader be forewarned.
Listening to :- The Riddle - Five for Fighting, Pretty Fly for a White Guy - Offspring, Fade - Staind

“If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back into you.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Some years ago, I stood alone under a moonlit sky. It was a starless void. The only light came from the moon. But a beautiful moon it was. Huge, round, a gleaming silver splash on dark blue velvet streaked grey.

That wasn't the best time of my life. It was a time of hopelessness. At that point, I didn't know what to do, or where to go. I couldn't see the path in front of me. The people around, most of them were oblivious to it. The external shell made sure of that. That night, I walked to the edge of the abyss.

For those people who know me now, I was once a very very different person. On the outside at least, not much has changed. Within though, I don't quite recognise the person anymore. The guy is no longer that of 5 years ago. The reason for this was the abyss.

Walking to the abyss, the first thing that hit me was immense fear. I had no idea of what was within. I had no idea how deep it was, how far I could fall. Like an acrophobic, at the pinnacle of a summit, the abyss was the ultimate death.

Looking into the abyss changes you they say. It shreds what you thought was you, chews it up and spits it out. Think of being turned inside out, your organs blended, and then poured in through your nose. The only bits that survive intact are those bits too tough to be blended by the blades of first contact. Those bits are parts of you, but they're not the soft, chewy, friendly parts that make you want to trust people, or the bits that make you soft and cuddly. What's left are the primal parts. Chunks of rashness and adrenaline, slivers of anger, but above all, a desperate need for survival. All tied together by a thin thread of duty.

Could I walk away from the abyss? I could not. I knew the only way to cross the abyss was to take a leap of faith. Faith in what I never truly realised till now. I needed to believe, to believe that I could do it. Because if I failed, there wouldn't really be a point anymore. So that night I leaped, soaring above the abyss, staring into it's depths... It would be a long ride.

I landed alright. But I had stared into the abyss, and everything within me had been torn up. I didn't realise it. How can you when everything, the nerve endings, the logic sections, the sinews of your being have been rearranged? Everything thinks everything is okay, because every bit is overloaded.

Life goes on, mornings come, evenings past. I met people, learnt new things, had different experiences.. Slowly the mush began to congeal, to take its new form. But the person I had once known was no longer there. I hope the new one is a better person, but I hope too that one day, the scars will heal. Five years later, I can finally look at the scars again, and maybe learn the lessons I couldn't while everything else was congealing.

I thank God for getting me through that time. I thank the several people who helped me down that path while not knowing it. I cannot yet say what will emerge, but I do know now that I will do whatever I need to survive.

You have no idea...

The Immaculate Conception (of the nation state)

2006-12-06T19:02:00.000+08:00

Note :

This post will use some uncommon words. Necessary to maintain accuracy of the discussion.
Clarifications and further explanations can be found in the footnotes. These are recommended reading.
When I speak of Islam and Christianity here, this in general refers to the mass of followers of these two key religions.
Most of the manifestations here are a result of man's interpretations of the holy books the Koran and the Bible. In the case of the Christians, Vatican and Protestant doctrine. In the case of Islam, the various Hadith.

[BEFORE you say anything, SHUT UP and READ IT TO THE END]

This article is an original piece inspired by an article by the BBC found here.

Main Entry: Immaculate Conception
Function: noun
1 : the conception of the Virgin Mary in which as decreed in Roman Catholic dogma her soul was preserved free from original sin by divine grace

- Merriam Webster's

Interesting concept isn't it? For the Catholic Church, it's a pretty rare thing too. Happens once every couple of thousand years.-* Well basically what it says is this, Mary, was born perfect. Sin - Nada. While interesting enough on it's own, it's a controversial doctrine you see. Controversial because it's taken as dogma whereas nothing in the bible actually says that Mary was born perfect. Nice as it would be to pick it apart, that's not what we're here fortoday. What we're going to take a look at today is the whole idea of immaculate conception of the race and nation state.

Our world today is one divided by religion, race and ideology; in that particular order. While a great deal has been made about the whole idea of a clash of civilisations (i.e. "secular christian civilisation" versus "muslim civilisation") , not much has been written about the underlying reasons why this clash is taking place. What we're going to examine briefly today is first the clash of religions and second of all the clash of races (where religion again comes into the picture.) and why the idea of the Immaculate Conception is so important.

The Battleground

Let's take an objective view at the whole idea of a clash first. Conflict occurs when the beliefs and values of one side do not suit those of the other or there is a disagreement over the way to achieve a certain end. Each side then tries to push their own ideas to the fore. Resolution however can never be reached without either the emergence of a single dominant ideology at a higher or equal level.-# This is achieved by either one way or two way synthesis of the ideas until a point of agreement can be reached. Critical for this synthesis to work, this new ideology must be accepted by the masses.-$ Why this is so will be discussed later. Resolution by forcible domination is not within the scope of this argument, as will become evident.

The first question that must be answered is this : Is there a real clash? The answer is yes. It is evident in the amount and substance of polemic being tossed by both sides. Further supporting this is the fact that the principles dictating their behaviour are very much different. Neither side is willing too nor can come over to the other side. A primary example of this is the principle of freedom of expression and freedom in general. Islamic civilisation ( caliphate, syariah, even Islam Hadhari comes to mind ) tends to place a greater emphasis on absolute "truths" in every sphere of life. This idea spills over into their governance and also judicial practices. Secular Christian civilisation on the other hand by and large to the idea of separation of church and state. This idea gained momentum after the Reformation and was formally articulated during the French Revolution. - ^ In contrast to the overt influence that Islam has over the state, the Church has learnt to interact within the bounds of the secular state. A clear example of this is the Vatican's seat at the United Nations. Hence, the clash of civilisations becomes more defined.

The Immaculate Conception

Our little blue dot is becoming alot smaller. People are 'virtually' getting closer. As that happens, civilisations tend to have to brush shoulders alot more often. As such, differences on both sides tend to rub the other side raw. That's when conflicts begin to appear. But rather than put a bandage on the wound, society has a virus. This virus is particularly insidious because it prevents both the wounded societies from putting medicine on the wound. Rather, it starts an infection going that quickly spreads.

This virus is the idea of the immaculate conception of race, religion and nation state. In a nutshell, this is the believe that a society can do no wrong. As in the case of the 'virgin' Mary, the belief is that this society was born perfect without sin and can now do no wrong either. If something goes wrong, someone has victimised the society. It is impossible for this society to be morally wrong. This society can be religious, racial, race or nation based.

Lets take Israel for example. Just to show that there are idiots on both sides of the divide. Ever since the ancient of state of Israel was conquered by the Babylonians in 586 BCE, through the brutal suppression of the Maccabean uprising by the Romans, right till the Third Reich of the Nazi's, the Jews have suffered. However, looking at more recent history particularly after the establishment of the modern state of Israel in 1948, they have engaged in systematic persecution of the Palestinian people. Acts such as the punitive policies of destroying Palestinian homes and the intentional suppression of the Palestinian economy can in no way be justified as defense of the Israeli state. However what we see right now is that if anything is said which is seen to criticise the Israeli state's actions, one is immediately labelled an anti-semite (in itself a totally wrong term. ). The Israeli people still see themselves as victimised by the world and this prevents them from participation in a solution to the Palestinian plight. More examples can be found in Japan (Rape of Nanjing, Pacific colonisation), Turkey(Armenian Genocide) and China(Tiannamen Square). This also relates to the race issues in Malaysia.

[ I have made the concious decision not to elaborate directly on the Malaysian race based issue. However, it is linked to the view that one race has been victimised. p.s. If you decide to read more than necessary into this and get emotional, you're a bloody prick with no brain. AND that's putting it lightly. ]

The end result of this is that people within the society are capable of spending hours talking about how they have been victimised but that their society has never hurt anyone else. Simply put societies don't like talking about the bad stuff they have done to others but love to feel victimised. This can be understood in the light of the concept of societal pride. This pride must have a moral base where the society is perfect i.e. the immaculate conception of the society. Bad stuff which a society has done or is doing simply does not sit well with the lily white view of the society.

The belief in the immaculate conception then is the key issue behind the inter-societal conflict. If there are two societies, both of which believe equally in their societies immaculate conception, conflict will be the ultimate result. This failure to accept that their society can be the perpetrator of abuse or does not have the moral/intelligent high ground prevents the masses from taking steps towards ending this abuse and/or taking active steps to solve the problem. Neither side can back down.

[TAG - I will post more on why societies act this way at a later day. For now, man is a herd animal. ]

What it means - Resolution

The clash of civilisations mentioned at the onset is going to get more pronounced.Admittedly, the solution cannot be one sided. One side admitting it's own failures while the other doesn't will not solve the larger problem. It is however key to bringing about improvement in the society that can face it's own past. Taking the skeletons in the closet out and giving them a proper burial certainly make your house a healthier place. Perhaps society needs to learn that done at a proper pace and with dignity, there is no ignomity in doing the right thing.

For the big picture though, the future is bleak. The wounds will always be there, only when everyone wants to heal them will we be able to move to something better.

Footnotes

* If you're wondering, well according to Vatican dogma, only one ever happened. And considering that it was about 2000 years ago, well yeah, a couple of thousand years is just about right.

# Clarification for synthesis at different levels

higher level - i.e. the general acceptance of the United Nations as an arbiter over the alternative of unilateral state action.
similar level - i.e. the interfaith concept. different religions absorb certain beliefs from each other while maintaining a reasonable differentiation in other aspects.

$ Here I use the term masses to maintain readability where I would have preferred to use the term "collective conscience and conciousness". It is the idea ingrained within the society which is the source of their actions.

^ The separation of church and state as proclaimed during the French Revolution in the latter part of the 18th century was the result of Reformational strivings toward a guarantee for the freedom of the church and the natural-law ideas of the Enlightenment; it was aggravated by the social revolutionary criticism against the wealthy ecclesiastical hierarchy. The separation of church and state was also achieved during and after the American Revolution as a result of ideas arising from the struggle of the Puritans against the English episcopal system and the English throne. After the state in France had undertaken the task of creating its own political, revolutionary substitute religion in the form of a “cult of reason,” which was foreshadowed by Rousseau's discourse on “la religion civile,” a type of separation of church and state was achieved. The French state took over education and other hitherto churchly functions of a civic nature. - Quoted from Encyclopaedia Britannica

Dropping the shackles

2006-12-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

Darn, I haven't written in awhile. In a long while. Guess I'd forgotten how much relief it could bring me. A short preview...

"Hounded by the silence of a thousand miles,
brushing aside thoughts of the past.
The pilgrim has to believe,
to believe in the oasis. "

Blog updates shall be more regular in future. Weekly I hope.

Cheers

A pleasant dinner

2006-11-06T14:01:00.000+08:00

Thinking of the whole racial economic problem over here, I thought this was an interesting illustration which sheds light on what we should consider before going any further with more affirmative action or even the putting of one race above any other. This is an interesting illustration commonly used to explain a certain taxation philosophy but it's equally applicable in this case.

5 friends go to a restaurant together every month. The first, Michael is rich, Alfred and John are working class men, and Tom, Dick and Harry are poor. Now, they have a great dinner and everyone enjoys themselves. Then the time comes for the bill to be paid, and it costs 100 dollars. The restaurant owner says,"Well, in this restaurant, we try to be as fair as possible, so each man will pay according to how much he is worth." Everyone is fine with that, so the Michael pays 40 dollars, Alfred and John pay 15 dollars each and the Tom, Dick and Harry pay 10 dollars each. So they say goodnight and everyone goes home.

Several months later, before their monthly dinner, Tom says to Dick and Harry "Let's invite Tony along." So Tom, Dick and Harry invite Tony. They go for dinner, and everything goes on as usual until it's time to pay the bill. The bill arrives and it is now 120 dollars. So the restaurant owner asks how they're going to divide the bill. Immediately, Tom says, well, Michael is the richest, so he will pay the most. Michael will pay 60 dollars, Alfred and John will pay 20 dollars each and me, Dick, Harry and Tony will pay 5 dollars each. Now Michael gets a little angry, but Tom, Dick and Harry are still his friends so he keeps his mouth shut.

The next month, Tom says to Dick, Harry and Tony, "You know what, Michael is so rich. Why don't we just rob him and take all his money? Then we can have a totally free dinner and we can bring two other friends along." So they wait until just before Michael is about to enter the restaurant, and they rob him and beat him up. Tom then takes his wallet and they go into the restaurant and have dinner.

Tom pays the bill, and everyone is happy. Perfect solution.

The next month comes, and then it's time to pay the bill again. Except Michael is not here. ( Who would want to come back after getting robbed and beaten up eh? ) The bill comes up to 100 dollars again. Now Tom has already spent the rest of the money in Michael's wallet so he takes out 5 dollars same as the times when Michael was here. Dick, Harry and Tony also only have 5 dollars with them. Alfred and John only have 20 dollars each. They're still short by 60 dollars. The restaurant owner then comes along, takes the 40 dollars, throws them out, and tells them never to come back again.

Replace Michael with Ah Chong and draw your own conclusions.

The downfall of man is not the end of his life

2006-10-29T00:31:00.001+08:00

Something about that quote just hits the right note. For me at least, when I see people rushing around, pushing themselves, harder and harder to reach a certain objective, it makes me wonder, when is it all enough?

Today’s world tends to make a lot out of tangible achievements, money, fame, fortune, power. But amongst all of that, sometimes we just need to ask ourselves, is all of it really what we want.

In the many sessions I’ve had, sitting down with various people, talking through their problems, the one common strand which reappears again and again is a lack of direction. Simply put, people don’t know what they truly are seeking in the first place. Without that direction, it goes without saying that finding fulfillment becomes much more elusive. After all, the tougher of the two is finding what you don’t know you’re looking for.

Undeniably, tangible achievements have their place, for instance as measurements towards certain goals. But tangible achievements as is, can’t be true destinations, because the actions and perceptions which define these achievements do not have black and white direct connections to the basic things which make us human. In order to be made sense of, tangible achievements must always exist within a reference frame.

To illustrate, for most people they would probably agree that winning the state lottery is a happy event. Now, lets change the surrounding’s a bit. You’ve just been stabbed. You’re lying in a pool of blood on the street, feeling the warm life ebbing out of you, knowing that an ambulance won’t be able to reach you in time. Then this guy rushes across the street, and he tells you, “Hey mate, your face is all over the papers! You’ve just won the state lottery!” He’s smiling like an idiot, waving the paper in your face while your life ebbs away. At that point in time, how important really is that 25 million dollars to you?

The point should be self evident. Whether it be a degree in higher education, or it be a position of power, none of them have permanent value. Remove the relative framework, and it all collapses like a house of cards in a storm.

Where does this lead us too then? Perhaps a reevaluation of what is truly valuable to us? Sitting down and actually write them down, one column for what we really want, and a second column for what activities actually consume the most time in our life’s now. Then maybe, beside each, have a little column, if I were to die tomorrow, would this really make sense. Put a little tick beside each activity which would matter, and you’d be surprised how much crap there really is in our life. I think I shall do that now… Cheers

A Warning

2006-09-28T17:17:00.000+08:00

This is written as a warning to those around me who, whether with a good motive or not, counsel me and when it fails, attempt to coerce me in a particular course of action. This is a statement of the process my mind goes through before embarking on a course of action.

If I do choose to ignore a certain counsel, do not think that I'm ignorant of the realities or risks which accompany this course. I'm not. I consider all counsel given. But in the end, as a free moral agent, depending on the priorities that I've set and the existing conditions, I may or may not choose to follow a certain set of guidelines. In the end, I believe that my actions are between me and my God and between me and the persons affected.

I have differing priority levels for different principles. All of them are weighted differently, some are influenced by circumstances, most are not. They're personal principles dictated by several things, among them firstly, my religion, secondly my familial considerations, thirdly financial and practical considerations. If I've made a decision, then it is the best that I believe it to be at that particular point in time, all other advice to the contrary taken into account.

Do not assume that I'm bloated on my own knowledge and assumptions. That's very very risky ground. When counselled, the first thing I do is question myself and the second is I do my research. If I'm proved clearly wrong then a course change will occur. You can attempt to convince me with additional proof but I do not appreciate coercion.

This declaration also states that I hold myself as ultimately responsible only to God and the agents which I choose. Any normal human has to make judgements at many points in their life. My judgements are guided by various factors but made by me. The consequences are mine to bear. If I choose a certain course, then yes, I am prepared to bear those consequences. Crying over spilt milk is not my thing.

Lastly, I do not have the time or the inclination to deal with such attempts. I will walk away. Don't push me to that. Even if you don't have faith that I'm have taken the right choice, let me assure you that I can turn my back on whatever it is and I can walk away. While that would be a very radical action, ask the select few who know me well, and know that painful radical choices are not something I fear.

Goebbels' Principles of Propaganda

2006-09-26T10:27:00.000+08:00

Food for thought :

Selected Excerpts
from Goebbels Joseph, Nazi Propaganda Chief

Based upon Goebbels' Principles of Propaganda by Leonard W. Doob, published in Public Opinion and Propaganda; A Book of Readings edited for The Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues.

1. Propagandist must have access to intelligence concerning events and public opinion.

4. Propaganda must affect the enemy's policy and action.

a. By suppressing propagandistically desirable material which can provide the enemy with useful intelligence

b. By openly disseminating propaganda whose content or tone causes the enemy to draw the desired conclusions

c. By goading the enemy into revealing vital information about himself

6. To be perceived, propaganda must evoke the interest of an audience and must be transmitted through an attention-getting communications medium.

7. Credibility alone must determine whether propaganda output should be true or false.

9. Credibility, intelligence, and the possible effects of communicating determine whether materials should be censored.

11. Black rather than white propaganda may be employed when the latter is less credible or produces undesirable effects.

12. Propaganda may be facilitated by leaders with prestige.

13. Propaganda must be carefully timed.

a. The communication must reach the audience ahead of competing propaganda.

b. A propaganda campaign must begin at the optimum moment

c. A propaganda theme must be repeated, but not beyond some point of diminishing effectiveness

14. Propaganda must label events and people with distinctive phrases or slogans.

a. They must evoke desired responses which the audience previously possesses

b. They must be capable of being easily learned

c. They must be utilized again and again, but only in appropriate situations

16. Propaganda to the home front must create an optimum anxiety level.

18. Propaganda must facilitate the displacement of aggression by specifying the targets for hatred.

19. Propaganda cannot immediately affect strong counter-tendencies; instead it must offer some form of action or diversion, or both.

I'm not encouraging propaganda, quite the reverse, listing the characteristics to identify it. One would be surprise how much of "news" and hearsay falls within these category. Drawing the fine line between tolerable bias and propaganda...

Just a Tad too WOWed

2006-09-22T11:00:00.000+08:00

When a respected medical expert tells us that a whole bunch of people on one of the most successful MMORPG's in existence is addicted to it, it tends to make eyebrows go up.

Twitch Guru - Expert: 40 % of WOW Players Addicted

However, while it was a wake up call, it shouldn't have come as a huge surprise. Computer addiction has been bandied about for a long time, but it's not until recently that the mainstream started to recognise that it is a problem.

For me it's a tad scary when you seen an acquaintance sleeping in front of his computer, foregoing food and sleep because he's too enthralled in World of Warcraft. For them, their daily conversation revolves around the game they're currently playing. If you're someone who doesn't play the game, try being among a bunch of them who all play the game and see what happens. There's a high likelyhood that once they get started yapping about their online personas and that virtual life, you will be totally and truly lost. Listen to them for awhile however, and you realise the level of immersion involved. They end up planning what they will be doing in the virtual world while they're right here in the real world, to the exclusion of a great number of other things. The truly scary part is when you give it some thought and realise that these people actually end up giving more thought to decisions made in this virtual reality compared to those in real life.

To counter the howl of WOW players (I can hear it even now.) that this is all wild assertion, an examination of addiction is in order. What is addiction? Referring to an article from the Mayo Clinic on drug addiction (accessible below) contrasted with the symptoms of game addiction:

Symptoms include :

Feeling that you need the drug regularly and, in some cases, many times a day
Making certain that you maintain a supply of the drug
Failing repeatedly in your attempts to stop using the drug
Doing things to obtain the drug that you normally wouldn't do, such as stealing
Feeling that you need the drug to deal with your problems
Driving or doing other activities that place you and others at risk of physical harm when you're under the influence of the drug
Craving more and more time at the computer
Feeling empty, depressed, irritable when not at the computer
Having a sense of well-being or euphoria while at the computer
Inability to stop the activity
Lying to employers and family about activities
Neglect of family and friends
Problems with school or job

How many of these match the behaviour of people who are stuck to their computers? I'd dare say 4 out of the 6. The first point is a given, considering that many of these gamer addicts need their daily fix, not getting it can make them moody and disgruntle, even worried about how their virtual alter-ego's are fairing in that world. Even during examination periods, when they're deprived of their fix and under high stress, that's where they turn for release. The second, clearly symptomatic, when someone you know spends RM60 or more a month on WOW reload cards, it's maintenance of supply. The third, when these people try to stop, but after awhile relapse back into it. The fifth, while not as clearly parallel as the upper three is how these virtual addicts tend to use this virtual reality as an escape point. Quoting from one of Dr. Orzacks experiences,

"I asked him what happens when he plays the game: was he simply playing a virtual character or did he feel like he was actually in the game? He told me when he plays, he is in the game completely. He had become immersed in World of Warcraft and had trouble removing himself from that virtual world. I also asked what he expected to find each time he turned on the game, and his answer was a sense of belonging. This individual came from a family that was unfortunately breaking up, and World of Warcraft was his way to escape that. This 18-year-old individual was miserable. He didn't get along with any of his family members and kept withdrawing into the game."

While this is admittedly a hardcore case, quite a few players I know do find a sense of identity and belonging in that world. Ultimately, they allow their interactions within the game itself to shape their perceptions. So what? Well, considering how our perceptions shape our decisions, I'd be worried if my perceptions and views weren't based in the real world. That's where there's a real potential for screwing things up. I doubt I really have to go on.

The really fun part of it all is defining when it turns into addiction. Well for drugs, this is how the Mayo Clinic defines it :

"Drug use or abuse crosses the line into drug addiction when you feel you have to have the drug, and you increase the amount of the drug you take."

Let's take that sentence in the context of game addiction:

Game use/play crosses the line into game addiction when you feel you have to play the game, and you increase the amount of the time spent on the game.

The worrying thing is that these people do not fit into the typical image of a person who is addicted per-se. While the common stereotype of an addict of any kind is a loser in life, someone who can't think for themselves, a visible failure, these new generation of addicts are actually very much so intelligent people with opinions and thoughts of their own. A new generation of games is arriving that is ever more inclusive and immersive, and addictive. While generations of past geek and nerd gamers got addicted on far less immersive two dimensional games and shallow story lines, what happens next when you've a virtual world which is ever more immersive? Draw your own conclusions...

For the piece de resistance, well,

"Physical addiction appears to occur when repeated use of a drug alters reward pathways in your brain. The addicting drug causes physical changes to some nerve cells (neurons) in your brain."

has that already started happening to somebody you know? Maybe it is time to sit up and take note...

References:

BBC Article - A cause for concern

Mayo Clinic - Symptoms of Drug Addiction

Computer Addiction - Symptoms

Freedom Singularity

2006-09-20T22:23:00.000+08:00

It was a dark night, a hot night and a boring night. The books were there to be studied, the exams to be faced, and a host of other problems to be dealt with. Sometimes, the soul just needs relief. Freedom so to speak. For that, there is nothing quite like hopping on to a bike. (Bicycle mind you.. my dad would never let me ride a motorbike. But that's another story altogether.)

The feeling to be looked for is that singular melding of man and metal. A point in emotional space and time where you're in total control of every single point around you. One twist of the handle and like an extension of your thought, you go careering off into another direction. A continuum from the last but at the same time a whole new choice. Each cycle of the pedals bring a new response. You feel every bump on the road, every hole, every crack, and instinctively respond.

There is nothing quite like taking a ride to a different dimension of mind and soul altogether. For that, there is nothing quite like a bike ride on a hot night.

Why now?

2006-08-26T17:08:00.000+08:00

For those of you who know me, some of the instinctive reactions will be "Finally!".

This idea to actually start writing a blog as definitely been thrown around quite a few times, but until this date, I've simply never had the patience to sit down and actually hit the keys. Lately too, I've realised that alot of the thoughts and ideas that were worth getting penned down had never actually seen the daylight. Every single time I actually said to myself, hey, that's a good idea, then promised to actually write it down, well to this date, I've got a few raggedly bits of paper and not much else. Not being the type of person to keep a diary, and those thoughts not being the type that I'd rather keep to myself, hence, a blog. =)

Well, having actually gotten a blog, chosen (hopefully) a layout that's easy on the eyes, the challenge now will be to keep it updated. How well I succeed will to a large degree depend on how much self discipline I can muster.

Comments are welcome, but be forewarned, some of the thoughts will not be the most comforting.